Dear Andreus,
My boyfriend is bisexual. I know that he also likes to have sex with women, and it never really bothered me until recently. He has brought a couple of female friends home and slept with them in our place. He tells me that he loves me, and that I should not be concerned with these flings, but it makes me so uncomfortable. I think it didn’t bother me when I didn’t see it happening. What do I do?
Sincerely,
Feeling Awkward
Dear Feeling Awkward,
This is indeed an awkward situation, but you knew the possibilities when you decided to be involved with someone who is bisexual. Clearly, he is happy having a relationship with you while fulfilling other needs with his female sex partners. However, you must set boundaries. If you are okay with him being bisexual, good for you. But you must come to some type of agreement, such as not engaging in intimate situations with his female partners in your home. I think it is simply a question of respect. So, tell him how you feel. You are not asking him to stop his rendezvous, rather that you just don’t want to witness them.
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Dear Andreus,
I am at my wits end, and don’t know what to do. I have been in a relationship for 1 year, and we recently moved in together. It has changed everything. He has begun to try and impose certain rules on me. I am very sociable, and he is extremely introverted. He does not like going out, and has told me that now, he does not want me going out at all. I am used to going out with my friends and having them over, but he does not like it, and tells me constantly that he is all I need. I have told him that my friends are important to me, then he says that I am putting them before him. I don’t want to lose him, but I certainly don’t want to lose my friends.
Sincerely,
Craig R.
Dear Craig R.,
That is a very tough situation. The reality is that there always must be a healthy balance between your friendships and your relationships. Don’t ever exclude your friends from your life because you are in a relationship. Real friends are the foundation of our lives, and when things fall apart and when they come together, friends are there. No one should ever be trying to interfere with your friendships, if they are healthy friendships. Also, it is not healthy to be up under each other every moment, 24/7. That is the easiest way to stress a relationship. Both people need breathing space, so that you better appreciate the time you have together.
