Dear Andreus,

I have one of the best friends in the world. We have been friends for over 20 years and have been there for each other through the best and worst of times. Recently, he has been drinking more than usual. He says that there is nothing wrong and that he is just having fun, but he becomes a very different person. He always starts out fun, but then becomes obnoxious and rude to everyone, including me. The next day he always apologizes, but this seems to be a trend. At this point I feel like enough is enough and am wondering if I need to cut him off. What should I do?


Gordon J.

Dear Gordon,

I am sorry to hear that you are having such a difficult time with your best friend. It is admirable that you have had a friendship that has lasted so very long. For that reason, I would exhaust all options before walking away. Your friend might very well be dealing with something that he may or may not wish to discuss. The issue here, is clearly his behavior when he is drinking. Try calmly talking to him about it, without “calling him out,” as this might minimize a defensive reaction. You can also try offering alternative activities with him besides anything that involves drinking. As a last resort, you may want to distance yourself a bit. Doing so might get him to see that there is a problem.