Dear Andreus,

I have a roommate, a friend who moved in with me. We get along great, and I really like him as a person. He recently started dating someone, and it has gotten very serious. They are pretty much together every day. The issue for me, is that his boyfriend is at my place all the time.  It is so much so, that I feel like I am a guest. I have tried to make subtle hints, such as him visiting his boyfriend’s place sometime, but he says that his boyfriend prefers visiting him. I am afraid that this is going to put a terrible strain on our friendship.  I used to share food and everything with my roommate, and now I am hiding things, because he is sharing everything with his boyfriend. I don’t know what to do now.


Antonio R.

Dear Antonio,

Looks like you are going to have to have a serious conversation. If not, this is eventually going to come to a boiling point, and it may not turn out well. There should have been ground rules established when your friend moved in. It seems that you are a very private or at least space-conscious, and you are feeling trapped. Express to your friend how you feel, and maybe suggest less frequent visits or maybe the two of them doing things outside of your place more. I had a similar situation before, and it is difficult when you almost feel like you are living with a couple. The only thing you can do is talk about it, and if that does not go over well – then maybe your friend might do better in his own place. There should always be a respect for space and boundaries when living with others, but in the future, you may want to establish that from the start.