Dear Andreus,

I have always wanted children. I have a lesbian friend, and she also wants to have a baby.  We have talked extensively about having one together, but the problem is that neither of our partners are really into having children. I feel that we are both afraid of damaging and/or destroying our relationships if we decide to move forward with becoming parents.  I don’t think that it is fair for our partners to try to block something that could bring so much happiness to us both, especially if they really loved us. I don’t know what to do.  Any suggestions?


Kyle R.

Dear Kyle,

Wow, that’s a tough one. I can understand the desire to have children and the happiness that children can bring, and at the same time trying to hold onto your relationship.  Maybe if all parties involved sat down and talked about it (meaning both of you and your partners), you could come to some type of agreement. If an agreement cannot be met, then you need to decide what you ultimately feel is most important to you in the long run.  Have a calm conversation about it, and weigh out all the pros and cons.  Maybe come up with a plan, even if that means that your partners both have minimal responsibility in the process. You may be able to pitch this in a way that gets you everything you want.  Remember that delivery is everything, so chose your words wisely. The reservation from your partners could merely be out of fear of the unknown.