As Valentine’s Day approaches, let’s take the time to strengthen the most important thing in our life: love. What better time to consciously strengthen it than Valentines Day, a day dedicated to showing our significant other how much they mean to us? However, Valentine’s Day is just one day of the year — it is so important to be cognizant of how we show love every single day (Photo by Marcelo Chagas).

Having a relationship that exemplifies strength, commitment, communication, laughter, fun, adventure, unity, friendship, and love is key. So on February 14th, let’s declutter and organize our relationship so 2023 becomes the year of love in the most incredible way. In my experience as the Professional Organizer of the Modular Closets customizable closet system, I have discovered these helpful ways to declutter your relationship this Valentine’s Day and beyond:

Can you declutter your relationship?

Yes! You can absolutely declutter your relationship. We don’t often think of decluttering a relationship, but it simply means being conscious of what you allow in your relationship and what you want to focus on. Whether you are dating someone or married for years, it is important to simplify your relationship and remember the purpose of being together. That is what decluttering is all about. Remember why you are together, why you love each other, and then do two things:

  1. Declutter anything that does not allow you to be the best version of a couple.
  2. Organize your life to support the love you share.

It takes work to ensure your relationship is at its best! Let’s rephrase that to it takes love and commitment to ensure your relationship is at its best. This doesn’t mean it is hard and tiring, but it does mean you need to dedicate time to nurturing it. Say “no” to anything that doesn’t add happiness to your relationship, and focus on the things that bring you closer together and strengthen you as a couple.

Here are more ways to declutter and organize your relationship:

1.) Plan ahead

I have seen so many couples that haven’t had a date night in months, or can’t remember the last time they did something fun together. This doesn’t have to be the status quo for being in a relationship. Pull your calendar out and plan in advance. Look at the month ahead and plan as many date nights as you can! Even one date is better than no date nights at all. This one simple step can drastically change your relationship for the better.

Quality is always the most important element. Life can fill up quickly with schedules, work, and the kids’ soccer games, so commit to what works for you but truly commit to that number. If it is 1 date a month, make it a full day where the two of you can have a beautiful quality day together. If it is 2 dates a month together, have fun planning 2 adventures a month that you can look forward to.

2.) As long as you are together

People are busier than ever these days, so it may not always be possible to go on lots of adventures and fancy date nights, but that’s ok! It’s more important to have quality time together. Plan a movie night, brunch at a cute local cafe, or a romantic night of cooking dinner together. It doesn’t have to be anything extravagant. The most important thing is to set aside time to simply be together.

3.) SAY “NO!”

So many people hate saying “no”, but your happiness is more important than trying to please everyone. You can still deeply care for your family and friends and want to be a part of the events and celebrations in their lives, but this doesn’t mean you have to attend every single invitation. Sometimes it is ok to stay home and not be a part of every social event. You need to ask yourself, “Is it more important to make everyone else happy and say ‘yes’ all the time, or to nurture my relationship and say ‘no’ when we need time to ourselves?”

A great compromise is to attend the event, but let them know you can only stay a couple hours. This way you are able to spend time with your loved ones, but leave early enough to spend time together.

4.) Prioritize open communication

Do not harbor things inside of you. Be open with your partner on how you feel about your relationship. If you harbor things inside, you will eventually start to resent the other person and that is a recipe for disaster! Do not cast blame or start an ugly fight, but rather sit down with your significant other and let them know you miss them and you really want to work on spending more quality time together. Your partner will also appreciate your efforts!

5.) Delegate, delegate, delegate

I often hear couples refer to the same routine in their lives: they have a long, busy day at work, come home to a house full of chores and things to do, eat dinner, and then it’s time to go to bed and start again. And weekends end up being the time to catch up on more house chores. I am not going to sugar coat it — life gets hectic and sometimes extremely overwhelming! This is why it is important to outsource some things.

Can you hire a babysitter to watch the kids one night a week so you can enjoy date night? Can you hire a local college student to do your grocery shopping, allowing you an extra couple hours with the family? Can you hire an assistant at work so your workload is less stressful, allowing you to come home happier and ready to spend time with your significant other? Imagine how much more time you could have together as a couple if you outsourced just 5 hours worth of things a week. You could spend an entire Saturday together.

To Wrap It All Up

All relationships take work and care to keep them strong. This Valentine’s Day, declutter and organize your relationship by planning dates ahead of time — they don’t need to be anything fancy, as the most important thing is that you are both spending time together. Also, say “no” to social get-togethers with friends and family when you need time with your significant other. And prioritize open communication and delegate tasks to free up more time to spend with your partner. These are just a few impactful ways to declutter and strengthen your relationship.

Christina Giaquinto is the Professional Organizer and Brand Ambassador of Modular Closets (DIY customizable closet units that organize any space in your home). Christina focuses on giving her clients the tools, methods, and techniques to transform their lives and homes through decluttering and organizing. She combines spiritual coaching and organizing to help her clients let go of things that do not spark joy and happiness. Her work has been featured on sites like Popsugar, Women’s Health, Reader’s Digest, Realtor, The Spruce and Yahoo.