Dear Andreus,

I have the best boyfriend in the world. He is kind, attentive, loyal, loving and communicates well. Like me, however, he doesn’t like to hurt people’s feelings. The issue is my best friend.  My best friend is very touch-feely by nature, and every time we are out, he is a bit too touchy with my boyfriend.  I believe it is harmless, but it makes my boyfriend uncomfortable, and I find it unnecessary. The thing is, that my best friend is very sensitive, so I don’t want to hurt his feelings by bringing it to his attention.  I told my boyfriend to say something, but he says that since it’s my best friend, that it would be better coming from me. What do you think?


William K.

Dear William,

Well, if your boyfriend is not going to say anything, then maybe he is right – you should.  If your best friend’s behavior makes your boyfriend uncomfortable, and you see the behavior as unnecessary, then you should address it.  As I always say – “delivery is everything”.  Try to talk to your best friend one on one, and as gentle as possible. He may not even be aware of his behavior, especially if that is a part of his personality.  But if it is an issue, it will only become a bigger issue in time if you don’t bring it to his attention.  Boundaries are important, and they only way they exist, is if we set and enforce them.