Polyamorous families have always existed — but now, they’re demanding visibility, dignity, and legal protection. A new generation of LGBTQ activists and lawyers is working to ensure that relationships involving more than two partners are no longer hidden in the shadows. Take the story of Cam McDonald, Bryan Lowder, and Tristan Chirico. Cam met Tristan on a gay dating app three years after marrying Bryan.
The trio never planned a polyamorous setup. Now in a committed throuple for nearly eight years, they share a New York City apartment, yet face serious legal hurdles. If Tristan were hospitalized, his partners wouldn’t have visitation rights. They can’t share insurance. And even inheritance rights are murky. Lawyer and longtime activist Diana Adams says this isn’t rare — 4 to 5% of U.S. adults practice non-monogamy, and 31% of millennials describe their relationships as non-monogamous. But without legal recognition, poly families face housing discrimination, custody battles, and job loss — all because their relationship structure isn’t protected under current law.
PLAC, the Polyamory Legal Advocacy Coalition, is pushing back, drafting legislation, and educating city councils. And small wins are happening — from domestic partnership policies in cities like Somerville, Massachusetts to a precedent-setting New York court ruling. Advocates believe it’s time U.S. law caught up with love—in all its forms.
