In issue 2
Nut Soup
Situation 02
Welcome Back, Phelps
The Phelps family must love the weather in South Florida! The finest legal mind Westboro Baptist Church has to offer, Shirley Phelps-Roper, visited South Florida last year with her sister Margie to participate in a debate on Amendment 2 at Florida International University. Now the Phelps clan is planning to return to South Florida January 16th to protest Rising Action Theatre’s presentation of Paul Rudnick’s The Greatest Story Ever Told, a whimsical retelling of the Creation based on the what-if scenario of God creating Adam and Steve and Jane and Mabel. The protest announcement on their web site, GodHatesFags.com, says the mockers and scoffers are into bestiality and incest and reminds us that “God Hates Fags,” “You’re Going To Hell,” and “God Hates You.” I wonder if they’ve even seen the play.
If their rants sound a little insane that’s because they are. The protests announced on their web site are difficult to decipher because they read like a paranoid schizophrenic’s manifesto. Amid their babbling sprinkled with scripture, it appears other protests will include the UK Embassy because “the Queen is a whore,” President-Elect Barack Obama’s inauguration because “Obama is Antichrist” and Central High School in Philadelphia to celebrate “the fact that God has slaughtered one of these brats.”
MMMM, MMMM Good
Campbell Soup has refused to bow in to the American Family Association’s demand that they cease supporting the gay agenda. The AFA’s demand came following a two-page ad in The Advocate for their Swanson brand of broth that depicts a lesbian couple with their child in the kitchen. Campbell has not apologized and made it clear they intend to continue advertising in The Advocate.
Land of Confusion
A recent poll commissioned by the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) made several conclusions that don’t seem to fit the results of recent elections. For example, the poll concludes:
75% of adults in the U.S. favor marriage or civil unions for gay and lesbian couples;
Only 2 percentage points (the poll’s margin of error) separate those that believe gay couples should have the right marry and those that don’t;
64% believe gays should be able to serve openly in the military;
63% believe in expanding hate crimes laws to include gay and transgender people.
How can these figures be accurate? Another statistical oddity found by the poll was that 19% of those surveyed felt their feelings toward gays have improved over the past five years, but this poll was conducted within two weeks of the elections that saw rights taken away from us in Florida, California and Arkansas. Are we supposed to conclude that we would have fared better if the elections were delayed two weeks? Hopefully these figures will bode well for us in the Florida Supreme Court when (and if) they decide the constitutionality of Florida’s law banning same-sex couples from adopting children.
Senate Seats
Apparently Senator Larry Craig is not going to be missed. Shortly before Toe-Tappin’ Larry relinquished his Senate seat on January 6th it was learned that his other seat, the one in the bathroom of the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport, has lost its popularity as a tourist attraction. Did people finally realize they ran the risk of running into him there?
Other Senate seats still appear to be up in the air. As of this writing, there has yet to be resolution on Governor Rod Blagojevich’s appointment for President-Elect Obama’s seat, Minnesota’s Senate showdown between comedian Al Franken and Norm Coleman has yet to be settled, and a new contender has entered the ring to replace Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton: Rosie O’Donnell’s gay brother, Daniel.
The End Is In Sight
The Bush administration has apparently turned the corner so many times that they’re now running around in circles. As the final days of his administration slip by we’re treated to tidbit after tidbit in the reflecting on the last eight years. First Lady Laura Bush has recently declared that her husband’s presidency was not a failure and refuses to respond to people that believe otherwise; Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice believes we should disregard the headlines, such as Bush’s refusal to support a U.N. resolution that would decriminalize homosexuality and condemn human rights violations based on homophobia, and focus on their version of the W’s accomplishments. Meanwhile Dan Bartlett, former communications director, has said Hurricane Katrina was “the final nail in the coffin” for Bush politically. I disagree. The final nail will be driven in at noon on January 20th, less than two weeks away.
