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Hey Woody,

I’m 26, somewhere between above-average and handsome, go to the gym 4x a week, blah, blah, blah. Christ, I sound like I’m writing an online profile. My point is that I strike out at the bars all the time. Is there like a secret to attract guys when you go out?

-Tired of going home alone

How to Attract Men

Hey Woody,

I’m 26, somewhere between above-average and handsome, go to the gym 4x a week, blah, blah, blah. Christ, I sound like I’m writing an online profile. My point is that I strike out at the bars all the time. Is there like a secret to attract guys when you go out?

-Tired of going home alone

Dear Tired,

I spoke to Lisa Daily, my good friend, Dating Guru and author of Stop Getting Dumped: All You Need To Know To Get Men To Fall In Love With You. She’s my go-to person on the dating scene because she pores over research like I pour over porn. Here’s a transcript of our conversation:

Woody: So how does a guy increase his chances of “pulling”?

Lisa: “Pulling?”

Woody: British slang for picking somebody up.

Lisa: Is sex the only thing you think about? How about asking me the best way to get nice guys to pay attention?

Woody: Christ, I feel like I’m Samantha talking to Charlotte.

Lisa: First thing, if you’re in a club or at an event, know where to position yourself. According to Dr. Albert Mehrabian, an internationally known expert in the field of spatial psychology, you can up your odds of meeting guys if you stand in the center of a room.

Woody: In other words, be the center of attention.

Lisa: Like that’s hard for you.

Woody: Don’t say “hard” to me, woman.

Lisa: Woody, the only thing hard on you is your heart. Now, don’t forget to move around a little when you’re standing in the center of the room. Research shows movement is inviting. Just don’t wear out the rug.

Woody: But what if you’re in a bar, not a club?

Lisa: Then stand in one of the corners of the bar. According to Mehrabian’s research, not only will you meet more people, you’ll get served faster, as bartenders tend to gravitate toward the corners as well.

Woody: Cool. Where’s the worst place to be seen?

Lisa: The worst place to be in a bar is near a wall or sitting at a table. You know that hot stranger approaching your table and asking, “May I join you?” That only happens in the movies.

Woody: I’m always hearing about colors. Can color affect your “approachability?”

Lisa: Absolutely. Color Consultant Leatrice Eiseman, Director of the Pantone Color Institute and author of Colors For Your Every Mood has a lot to say about that. She doesn’t do research on same sex attraction, but if the colors that women are attracted to in men holds true for gay men, then you should wear blue. According to Eiseman, guys who wear blue are perceived as “stable, faithful, constant and always there.”

Woody: Like me.

Lisa: Like hell.

Woody: Look, witch, just because your book sold better than mine doesn’t mean… oh, never mind. Remember Bill Blass’ famous line—”When in doubt wear red?” Any truth to that?

Lisa: Yes. Research shows it’s the most sensual. According to Eiseman red attracts men interested in sex.

Woody: Are there colors to stay away from?

Lisa: Yes. Eiseman says, “squished caterpillar yellow-green,” which is said to repel both sexes equally.

Woody: Well, there you go folks. Dating wisdom from the author of Stop Getting Dumped: All You Need To Know To Get Men To Fall In Love With You.

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