Hey Woody!

Your last column made my boyfriend and I realize we need to stretch the boundaries of our sex life, so we’ve decided to take your advice and do some role-playing in front of the video cam.  Thing is, you didn’t say anything about how to get started.  Any tips?

—  Ready for my close-up

Dear Ready:

The first question that usually pops up about role-play is why film it?  Why not just do it without the camera?

Because making the video forces you to put structure around the role-playing.  It’s fine to say that one of you wants to play the cigarette while the other plays the ashtray, but where do you start?  What kind of cigarette?  What color ashtray?  Is the cigarette already lit or will somebody light it?

That said, here’s the step by step to spicing up to making your movie:

Choosing Roles

Ask yourself how you want to feel or how you want people to react to you in real life. Do you want them to adore you?  Hate you? That’s your starting point. Then ask what type of person epitomizes that feeling to you.

Then ask yourself: ‘If I want to experience these feelings, what role will my partner need to play?’ Warning: your partner may not share that fantasy.  How do you get around it?  Take turns.  He can be the supporting actor in your film and the star in his.  It’s also a good idea to try out each other’s fantasies. For example being a submissive and a dominant are two sides of the same coin.  Playing one may give you ideas about the other.

Choosing a Location

Filming at home is the obvious choice, but what about about abandoned buildings? The risk of discovery can add a real kick.


They’re important for the look as well as the feel.  Figure out how the costumes fit in with your whole scenario.  Props are also critical to getting into your character.


Background music is all part of setting the scene and the mood. Pick something that compliments the role-play.  If you’re doing the master-slave thing, I don’t think a boy band is going to cut it.   Although it will if the setting’s in Jerry Sandusky’s house.

Directing your film

Someone has to take control of the film.  For example, if you’re going to strip somebody’s got to decide how.  I say if it’s your fantasy you direct.

Filming technique

Try different positions to get the most flattering shots of your body. Here’s a hot tip:  Look into the camera while you’re having sex. When you play it back and watch it you won’t believe what a turn-on it can be for your partner.

Get into character

Being in character can make you more confident about trying knew things. Think about what your character would do and say.

Take the Cap off the Lens

Really, it’ll save you a lot of heartache.

One last piece of advice—buy the best book on the subject: Erotic Home Video.  Create Your Own Adult Films, by Anna Span, who’s directed hundreds of porn films.