Dear Andreus,

My best friend moved in with me about two months ago. We have been the very best of friends and super close for years. I thought that being roommates would be easy.  I have found out that we are as different as night and day. I find myself cleaning up behind him all the time in the common areas, and he is never on time with his portion of the rent and bills. I don’t know if I want him gone, or if things can change. The real issue is that I don’t know how to approach the situation. And if I ask him to move, it might destroy our friendship. What should I do?


Roderick C.

Dear Roderick,

There is an old saying – “You don’t know someone, until you live with them.”  When you have limited time, or just moments with someone, you see the best version of them.  When you live with someone, it gives you more time to discover more about them, and sometimes things you may not like. You must address the situation because it will only get worse. You have to choose between having a conversation about your concerns with the hopes of encouraging change or asking him to leave. That is your call. The longer you let it go, the more uncomfortable the situation will become, and then it is likely to escalate, potentially to the point of no return. If you are best friends, you should be able to talk this out, and come to some agreement on house rules and expectations. I hope things work out – real best friends are hard to come by.