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Hey Woody,

I’m a quiz junkie but I can never find interesting sex quizzes.  Is there any site that has quizzes worth taking?  And also, why don’t YOU write one.  You’re funny!

–  Quiz Wiz

 



Hey Woody,

I’m a quiz junkie but I can never find interesting sex quizzes.  Is there any site that has quizzes worth taking?  And also, why don’t YOU write one.  You’re funny!

–  Quiz Wiz

 

Dear Quiz-Wiz,

The reason I don’t write them is because I’m lazier than furniture.  Now, while I am too lazy to write them, I’m never too lazy to read them.  And some of the best (or at least most entertaining) come from a website called Queendom.com, which actually has testing service professionals on staff.  Here’s a sampling of the quizzes I liked:

The Promiscuity Test

  • Can you remember the names of everyone you’ve slept with?
  • Have you ever had sex with more than one person in the same day?
  • Have you ever kept an obscene phone caller on the line and had phone sex with them?
  • Have you ever had sex with someone who didn’t speak a word of your language?
  • Have you ever had sex in your parents’ bed?

The Sexual Appropriateness Test

  • Would you give an EXTREMELY attractive employee a promotion if they offered to sleep with you if you were sure nobody would ever find out?
  • Have you ever hit on a friend’s date?
  • Would you sleep with someone in exchange for a brand new dream house that you would never be able to have otherwise?
  • Have you ever had consensual sex with a cousin?

The Dirty Mind Test

  • Would you give up a year of your life if you could live out your ultimate sexual fantasy?
  • You and your spouse are shopping for mattresses. Do you immediately think about how good the sex will be, rather than the sleep?
  • You call up a good looking friend and he says he’ll call you back because he’s just getting into the shower. Do you mentally insert yourself into the picture?
  • Is it okay to have sexual fantasies about a friend’s spouse?
  • Can you get a massage without thinking about sex?

The Fatal Attraction Test

  • Have you ever tried to lure an ex into the bedroom in order to win them back?
  • Have you ever checked or tried to check an ex’s answering machine, voice mail or e-mail messages?
  • Do you have photo albums of pictures with people’s faces cut out?
  • Would you rather see any of your ex’s dead than in the arms of another person?

The Dumb Blonde Test

  • Do you approach blondes more often than non-blondes?
  • If there were a pill that would make you permanently blonde without roots but take away your sense of smell, would you take it?
  • Have you ever pretended to be dumber than your boyfriend just to soothe his ego?

When you hear a blonde joke, do you:

  • Genuinely laugh
  • Get offended
  • Ask for an explanation
  • Have you ever locked your keys in your car–while it was still running?
  • Have you ever looked for your sunglasses only to realize they were on top of your head?
  • When someone asks you if the carpet matches the drapes, do you go in the living room and check?

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Sweating Too Much

Hey Woody,

I read your answer to “smelly” (how to tell your new boyfriend his crotch smells like a grease-encrusted vomit bucket). Loved your answer but wanted to add a different dimension to the problem. I’m one of those guys who smell down there because I sweat so much. It’s very embarrassing. It doesn’t take much to soak my shirt. I could be in a mildly warm bar and sweat like I’m a whore in church. Any advice for people like me?

– Spikot

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