Hey, Woody!
I was online the other night when a video star contacted me and expressed interest. At first, I thought he was kidding. But I checked out his site and damn if I hadn’t seen some of the videos he’s been in. I never did meet him (not my type), but here’s my question: Why would a guy who does videos for a living be online looking for dick?
– Screen shot
Hey, Woody!
I was online the other night when a video star contacted me and expressed interest. At first, I thought he was kidding. But I checked out his site and damn if I hadn’t seen some of the videos he’s been in. I never did meet him (not my type), but here’s my question: Why would a guy who does videos for a living be online looking for dick?
– Screen shot
Dear Screen Shot:
Guys in videos have online profiles for the same reason guys with boyfriends have them—they want to sleep with someone they’re attracted to for a change. Like married guys, video stars don’t get to choose whom they’re going to have sex with. And as much sex as they might have, they’re not necessarily doing it with guys they find attractive.
It stands to reason that guys in videos would look for who they *want* to sleep with not who they’re forced to sleep with. They also use the net to get their emotional needs met. If you’ve ever seen videos being made you’d realize how mechanical and unemotional it can be.
I’ve had a couple of video stars hit me up on the net. It was kind of sad, really. No, not that they were so desperate they resorted to hitting on me. The sad part was that they were clearly looking for an emotional connection but they led with their d*cks and not their hearts. One guy said he was looking for true love but in the meantime he was going to fill every hole that needed covering. Yes, poetic words sure to attract a stable, monogamous relationship.
Hey, woody!
Someone told me there’s a list of “Limpest” cities in the country, as defined by the number of per capita Viagra prescriptions. Is this an urban myth?
– Hard to Know
Dear Hard:
No it’s not a myth. Men’s Health did a study on the number of prescriptions for erectile dysfunction drugs (Viagra, Cialis and Levitra) by region and declared the five “Limpest Cities” to be:
1. Chicago
2. Washington D.C.
3. Atlanta
4. Detroit
5. Houston
If you live in these cities, congratulations. You just won “Bottom of the Year.”
Hey, Woody!
Got any good sex jokes?
-Chuckles
Dear Chuckles:
Here’s one of my all-time favorites:
Four Catholic ladies are having coffee together. The first one tells her friends, “My son is a Priest. When he walks into a room, everyone says ‘Father’.”
The second one chirps up, “My son is a Bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, everyone says ‘Your Grace’.”
The third Catholic lady says smugly, “My son is a Cardinal. When he walks into a room, everyone says ‘Your Eminence’.”
The fourth Catholic lady sips her coffee in silence. The first three ladies all ask, Well…?”
She replies, “My son is a 6′ 2”, hard-bodied stripper, and hung like a rhino. When he walks into a room, everyone says, “Oh, my God…
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