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NeedWoodWhat do you do when you’re in a foreign country and the guy you pick up wants to go to his house instead of your hotel? I was in Russia talking up this blonde hottie who kept babbling about some new spreadsheet that was solving all his

NeedWoodIn Foreign Countries is it safer to hook up in my hotel room or at his place?

Hey Woody,

What do you do when you’re in a foreign country and the guy you pick up wants to go to his house instead of your hotel? I was in Russia talking up this blonde hottie who kept babbling about some new spreadsheet that was solving all his administrative problems.  I kept nodding my head, thinking, yes, I’d like to spread you over the sheets.  It was three in the morning.  I didn’t want to talk about software; I wanted to talk about hardware. So I gently interrupt and ask him if he’d like to go back to my hotel.  And that’s when I was faced with every horny traveler’s sexual dilemma.  He didn’t want to go back to my hotel.  He wanted me to go to his apartment.  I wouldn’t go back, fearing the worst (what if he was an ax murderer?  At least in the hotel I’d be safer). Anyway, my question is, is it safer to take a trick to your place or his? 

 Itching for my next trip

Dear Itching:

Safe sex” takes on a whole different meaning when you’re about to hook up in a foreign city.  HIV infections seem almost quaint compared to getting stabbed and left for dead in a pool of your own blood. In the debate over love’s famous question (“You’re Place or Mine?”), there is overwhelming statistical evidence that one of those places is more dangerous. And it’s your place not his. According to Dallas Drake, Homicide Researcher for the Minnesota Gay Homicide Study, statistics show that most homosexual murders take place in the victim’s home. 

 Why? Here’s what Drake said: “If he comes to your place he can kill you and just leave, while at his place he is in the troublesome predicament of having to dispose of a body.  A killing in his own residence would also have the negative impact of creating a permanent link with his identity due to inerasable evidence on his own property. Blood trace evidence can be detected for at least 20 years afterward, even when not visible to the naked eye. This is not just a theory. Empirical evidence, statistics from several sources, including the FBI, show that most male homosexual victims are murdered in their own homes. Only serial offenders such as Jeffrey Dahmer or John Wayne Gacy kill in their own space, and there are very few such people. So there you have it.  Your place or his? His. 

 

Hey Woody,

I’m 55 and I’ve noticed that it’s getting harder and harder to, well, get hard.  I have high blood pressure so Viagra’s out. Supplements and herbs don’t work.  My therapist hasn’t uncovered any emotional “issues,” and my doctor said there’s nothing physically wrong with me. I feel trapped.  Got any advice?

 — Boner Bummer

 Dear Bummer:

Well, they say that trying to have sex when you’re older is like shooting pool with a rope.  But they meant, like guys in their 90s. You’re way too young for your flag to fly at half-mast. Here’s what I’d try:  Exercise. A recent study showed that men over 50 who kept physically active had a 30% lower risk of impotence than administration officials who sit on their a$$es dreaming up ways of giving more money to the rich. 

 

The Annals of Internal Medicine (I tried talking them into dropping one of the “n’s” in Annals but they promptly put a call block on my phone number). 

 Anyway, researchers surveyed more than 31,000 between the ages of 53 and 90. Results showed that men who were physically active reported better erections. The fitter the man, the better the erection. The equivalent of running at least three hours a week or playing singles tennis five hours per week produced the most benefit. So hit the jogging trails or hit a ball and see if in a few months your tricks start calling you stud rather than dud.

 

 

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