Dear Andreus,

Recently, I confided in a friend that I was interested in someone and was trying to work up the nerve to ask them out. About a week later, my friend approaches the guy, and asked him out. I had already established a bit of a rapport with this guy and was just waiting for the right moment. I feel betrayed. Do I have the right to be upset, and should I even remain friends with my friend?


Craig R.

Dear Craig,

This is truly a difficult situation, and I can see why you would feel betrayed.  Personally, I have a friend-code with my friends. We have set boundaries and agreed that anyone that the other is interested in, has dated, or had a relationship with – is off limits.  For us, this is basic respect and decency. However, if you have not set these boundaries, this might have been an innocent mistake. I would address the situation to avoid this ever happening again and agree on some boundaries. I don’t think this really warrants losing a friendship over unless it has emotionally taken you to the point of no return. I agree it was not in the best taste for him to go after this guy if you established your interest in him but talk it out with your friend before you jump to any conclusions.