Dear Andreus,

I am an identical twin. My brother and I are not only identical in features, but in our mannerisms, our habits and in the way we talk. We tend to also have the same tastes in guys, seeing as we are both gay. My brother recently married his boyfriend of two years.  Because I didn’t think it was going to last, I did a very bad thing.  On a drunken night after the bar, I slept with my brother’s husband while my brother was asleep. The boyfriend thought that I was my brother, and I played along. Now this is haunting me, but I feel like saying something would do more harm than good. What do I do? I am so afraid that one day that night might come up in conversation, and all of us would be devastated. Help.


Blake J.

Dear Blake,

Well, looks like you have quite a situation. Regardless of whether you come clean or not, it is still going to weigh on you. No matter what, the outcome likely will not be pleasant. You could tell your brother and his husband, and potentially destroy their marriage, even though the boyfriend was not at fault. Just the same, you could keep it to yourself, and it come out later and destroy their relationship and your relationship with your brother.  At the end of the day, there is no easy answer. You certainly have to be guided by your conscience in this situation. I always stand by honesty and transparency – but know, that there will likely be consequences. When we make bad decisions, we have to accept the result. Good luck!