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Hey Woody,

I went home with a guy I wasn’t all that attracted to. Things changed when we got to his bedroom. And this was before the pants came off! The room was just the sexiest thing I’d ever seen. Everything about it oozed sensuality.

Our encounter was a one-nighter so I can’t remember much of the room, plus I was wearing, uhm, beer goggles that night. My question: How do I sex up my bedroom without sinking into James Bond clichés?

– Bedroom eyes

Hey Woody,

I went home with a guy I wasn’t all that attracted to. Things changed when we got to his bedroom. And this was before the pants came off! The room was just the sexiest thing I’d ever seen. Everything about it oozed sensuality.

Our encounter was a one-nighter so I can’t remember much of the room, plus I was wearing, uhm, beer goggles that night. My question: How do I sex up my bedroom without sinking into James Bond clichés?

– Bedroom eyes

Dear Bedroom Eyes,

A sexy bedroom pulsates with passion. It should fill your partner’s heels with helium the minute he enters the room. Here are a few hints to get the helium pumping:

Lighting

Remember, beauty is only a light switch away. So invest in some dimmer switches and track lighting. If you’re too cheap or lazy here’s a great little trick: Put your bedside lamps on the floor. The uplighting gives off a nice glow. Or put a dark towel on top of the lamps. It’ll soften the light and add a bit of color. Of course, you don’t want to ignore the lighting voted most likely to get you laid: Candles. They create a warm, inviting & sensual ambiance. Use lots of reds (stands for sexual attraction, passion and love) and whites (stand for personal power and romance).

Bedspread

The bedspread is probably the most important visual element because it takes up so much space. I don’t know how many times my dates red-lined my engine in the living room and then stalled it when I saw some hideous Laura-Ashley eyesore. Stick to muted colors. The only loud things you want in the bedroom are the screams.

Pillows

They evoke wonderful feelings—from playful (pillow-fights) to sensual (you can sink into great sensations). Make them fluffy with all kinds of forms and textures and sizes. Everyone looks sexy propped against a mountain of soft, comfy pillows. You can also try “Secret Stash Pillows.” They’ve got a secret pocket inside to stash your favorite sex toys.

Bed Linen

Sexy bed sheets are to a bedroom what an engine is to a car. You ain’t going nowhere without some horsepower. Look for AT LEAST 300 thread count. Silk and satin feel awesome against your skin but they do slide around and good luck getting the stains out. Try flannel sheets—they’re cuddly and warm. Or try mixing bedding textures. Mix it up so you’re always experiencing something new and exciting.

Make sure your sheets have manscent all over them. Add some drops of your favorite aromatherapy oil to the softener section of your washing machine.Or spray your sheets with a sheet scent spray like ‘Smooth as Velvet’. Or sprinkle some “Kama Sutra Honey Dust” on them. They absorb perspiration, smell wonderful, and won’t get sticky.

Music

Besides lighting, nothing creates an atmosphere and maintains the mood more than music. Make sure the stereo, not just the speakers, is in the bedroom. Nothing worse than leaving the room to change the CD. Unless, it’s to do the guy in the second bedroom.

Kick your romance quotient up a notch or two by burning your own playlist. My favorites: Zero 7 and anything by the DJ Miguel Migs. That man’s music can unlock the toughest chastity belts.

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