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need woodI met this party boi at a bar.  We hit it off right away and were in my bed half an hour later.  Woody, I filled him out like an application.  I signed at the bottom, too, if you get my drift.  The sex was way hotter than I expected

need wood

Hey Woody,

I met this party boi at a bar.  We hit it off right away and were in my bed half an hour later.  Woody, I filled him out like an application.  I signed at the bottom, too, if you get my drift.  The sex was way hotter than I expected (I especially loved the way his eyes practically rolled to the back of his head as I pushed deeper into him).  But I digress.

 He stayed the night, gave me his number and kind of badgered me about calling.  He calls me later that same day and asks if I want to have dinner.  I say “how about next Friday?”  Meantime, I got drunk and called him late the next night.  My call rolled to voicemail.  Next morning he chastises me.  “I don’t do ‘booty’ calls,” he said in a snit.  I’m thinking, “I met this guy in a bar, took him home, screwed his brains out before he even knew my last name and now he’s giving me crap about making a booty call?”  Grrr.  Why are guys such hypocrites?  I do want to date this guy but his whore-turned-virgin act drives me nuts.

 —  Sick of it

 Dear Sick:

Gay guys are hypocrites because they’re obsessed with managing their image.  They think they won’t be considered dating material if they acknowledge their sexual adventurousness.

 He clearly wanted to date you.  The fear that you might see him as “do-able” and not “dateable” drove him to his Miss Priss act. He figured if he didn’t come down hard on the booty call he would have given you “the wrong impression.”  

 He probably thought, “If I say it’s okay to come over at midnight and have sex, then he’ll probably think I’m just a chewed up piece of club trash and he won’t want to date me.”  

 Well, he’s wrong.  Sexual desire is often the primary engine of an initial attraction.  While I understand that your guy was afraid you were going to put him in the “f**k buddy” box instead of the “potential boyfriend” box, he didn’t need to be hypocritical to get you to see his date-worthiness.

 Guys who resort to hypocrisy don’t understand a basic rule about dating:  A guy either likes you or he doesn’t–and your sexual behavior (going home with him the first night, answering booty calls) is not going to make a shred of difference.  There will either be dating chemistry or not.   No guy is going to say, “You know, this guy is smart, he’s interesting, he makes me laugh, I love the way I feel about myself when I’m around him, but I couldn’t possibly date him because he’s too easy in bed.” That’s Chick Stuff.  What are we, women?  I’ve never understood that bull crap my girlfriends have about “I can’t have sex until I get to know him.”  Sex is one of the best ways of getting to know someone and it’s often the initial path to lasting relationships.  One of my best friends met his lover at the baths, another at a sex club.  Both couples were monogamous for their whole relationship.

 Well, until they met me.  If you can’t have a happy home, I always say, wreck one.  I kid.  But you get my gist, yes?

 

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