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needwood bannerHey, Woody!

You’ve said several times that the average erect d–k size is 5.1 inches.  But a recent study by Lifestyles Condoms…


Hey, Woody!

You’ve said several times that the average erect d–k size is 5.1 inches.  But a recent needwood 1study by Lifestyles Condoms shows that the average length is 5.8 inches.  I don’t know about you but I’ll take the extra half-inch.  And your apology.

—  Every inch helps

Dear Every:

An apology from me?  You’ve got as much chance as a fly in a frog farm.  Yes, it’s true Lifestyles did one of the largest penis size studies about 9 months ago.  And it’s true that the average size in their study was 5.8 inches, not 5.1.  But it’s also true that they conducted the study in Cancun, Mexico during spring break.  Not exactly what I think of as a random sample.  They were hoping for 1,000 volunteers; they got 300 drunken college kids.  Though the methodology was rock-hard (there was a doctor supervising the research and two lovely nurses doing the measuring) the study hardly rises to the level of scientific acceptance.  Why?  Because the study was not a good cross-section of the population. 

So I stand behind, kneel, or sit on 5.1 inches, which is the result of a peer-reviewed study that appeared in Contemporary Urology.  Or as I like to call it, “D–k Today.”

Hey, Woody!

I need your advice about a very embarrassing problem.  I was diagnosed with rectal herpes.  It took doctors 3 months to determine what exactly was causing a sharp pain deep inside my rectum.  Since the diagnosis I have had safe sex with 3 different guys.  Even as mortified as I was, I confided in them about it before we hooked up. 

I have always been asymptomatic and never had it break out on the outside of my anus and have never had herpes on my genitals.  It was only deep inside.

Since I technically have herpes but don’t have breakouts (not to say I might not in the future), could I pass it to someone else while the virus is dormant?  Is it necessary for me to go into the gory rectal details before anything happens at all?  If so, at what point?

The thought of having to discuss this with a potential mate makes me a nervous wreck and is keeping me from getting out and meeting someone special.  I have scoured the Internet for info about my particular problem and found next to nothing about it.  The last thing I ever want to do is infect someone.

—   Feeling tainted

Dear Feeling:

First, thanks for caring enough about other people not to infect them.  You’re one of the good guys, man.  I mean that. 

Yes, you could pass rectal herpes on and no, you don’t have to disclose–as long as you take the right precautions.   Obviously if you get f–ked without a condom you’re going to expose someone to the virus.  So don’t get f–ked without a condom. 

Also, you can’t let anybody finger you without a glove.  If somebody gives you a digital massage and touches their genitals…well, there goes his health, along with your conscience.  

Get yourself to a doctor (a new one.  Geez, this is Safe Sex 101 and he was no help?) and get checked out twice a year.