Dear Andreus,

I have been dating a guy for some time now and thought that we were open and honest with each other. Unintentionally while helping him find a job, I found out that he has a criminal history, that includes violent crimes. Though he told me that the situations were resolved, it has made me very uncomfortable and uneasy around him. I don’t know how to feel, because I now feel like he is not the same person I thought I knew. He says that the past is the past, and that I should not be judgmental because these things happened long before we knew each other. I just wish he would have told me. What should I do?


Jeffrey P.

Dear Jeffrey,

Love is about forgiveness. You must decide if you can look beyond his past and see the person that he is now, the person that you were drawn to begin with. Even though he probably should have told you, I am sure that he avoided it for exactly this reason. Most everyone has something that they are not proud of, and we would hope that people would not see us any differently if they knew. Take some time, think about the situation, and consider what he means to you. Everyone has a past, but the past is exactly that.  I wish you both the best.